In a deeply troubling story coming out of your bedroom while you were getting dressed, it appears that your dad just doesn’t give you giant t-shirts to wear as a smock like he used to when you were a child.
This news comes as a shock to you, who has been wondering what happened to all those big and kind of ugly shirts that you used to have when you would paint on your little easel.
“We found that the nation’s supply of big, smock-like shirts has decreased significantly ever since you turned 12 years old,” Dr. Patricia Hewes, big t-shirt expert, told us. “Our data shows that this is partly because you were too big for them to look as huge, and also because you didn’t really want to wear them in your teenage years, which was really stupid of you.”
The people who are directly affected by this devastating finding aren’t taking it lightly, especially you.
“Whenever I have to do some gardening or clean around the house, I’m always wondering why I don’t have any super baggy shirts to wear that I can get dirty in,” you said. “But I realized it’s because my dad hasn’t given me a huge t-shirt to wear as a smock in over 15 years. And now I’m pissed.”
Studies also show that your dad does have big t-shirts that he could give you, but he won’t hand them over because “he needs them for wearing” or whatever.
“It made sense to give them up when you wanted them to do an art project or something and you lived in my house,” your dad told us. “But now, I kind of need my shirts for myself. It’s nothing personal.”
However, even though you’re too big for them to even be a full-on smock anymore, it is still deeply personal to you.
“At this point, I’m thinking about finding a new dad,” you told reporters. “A much, much bigger one. Then, maybe I can get back into doing art again!”
