With all the Barbiemania lately, Portland local Lashana Peters has also gone all in on the Barbie hype. However, in an effort to eschew the mainstream and go back to the old ways, rather than go watch the record-breaking blockbuster that is Greta Gerwig’s Barbie, she has instead chosen to watch the 2005 classic Barbie: Fairytopia.
“Today’s modern society has forgotten the values of the past,” said the 20-year-old. “Values like uncanny valley 3D animation and storylines about wingless fairy misfits. By watching Barbie: Fairytopia and its subsequent sequels and numerous spin-offs, I’m taking a stand for the Barbies of our previous generations.”
Lashana told reporters that while she tolerates the current culture around Gerwig’s Barbie, she prefers the Barbie films of the 2000s, which she claims was the best decade for Barbies everywhere.
“I love Ryan Gosling, but he has no right to inhabit the Barbie-sphere like that. Maybe it’s just nostalgia talking, but the Barbie cinematic universe was better back when it was about using shitty animation to adapt fairy tales and make Disney-adjacent movies. Where’s the talking, flying puffball sidekicks? Where’s the mythical creatures and sparkly magic? Doesn’t anyone else yearn for a simpler time?”
Lashana’s ideology echoes that of a small, but fervent group of Barbie traditionalists online who uphold the values of the doll’s animated franchise over its current modern-day iteration.
“There was nothing wrong with the simple life lessons Barbie learned in her animated films,” Lashana told reporters. “Lessons like, ‘It’s okay to not have wings’ and ‘Sometimes you have to work together to build rainbows.’ Greta Gerwig can stay in her lane of making poignant, coming-of-age A24 films with real-world actions and consequences.”
Lashana has pleged to continue to watch only the animated Barbie films from 2001 to 2009, refusing to touch 2012’s Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse series.