We all know that I am sleepy. Whether this is due to a lack of sleep the night before, a bodily response to existing in American society, or cause unknown, no one can say. Whatever the reason, everyone has wondered from time to time: what if I just lie down and close my eyes for a moment? What then? Take this quiz to find out!
I am feeling a little tired.
a. Now might be a good time for a bit of resting.
b. You think you’re special? Hit the bricks sleep-o.
I do a yawn so big I cry a little. Thoughts?
a. That’s a very big yawn!
b. This big yawn really pisses me off.
What would you say if you caught me dozing in a ray of sunshine?
a. I would simply put my hand over my heart and sigh.
b. “Wakey wakey, bitch! It is time for being awake.”
Close my eyes?
b. Don’t you fucking dare.
What happens if I am sleeping?
a. I put a warm blanket over your body and a spindly nightcap on your head.
b. “STOP SLEEPING SO MUCH,” you shout with your hands in loathsome little fists.
I fall asleep in the back of the car?
a. I circle the block until you are in REM sleep.
b. The side of the road becomes your bed.
Mostly A’s: I would be supported and protected if I lay down and closed my eyes for a moment. This could be a great option for me in the future, or even right now. Goodnight.
Mostly B’s: It would be a big disaster for me to lie down and close my eyes for a moment due to reasons of “hostility.” This sucks.