We all know that I am sleepy. Whether this is due to a lack of sleep the night before, a bodily response to existing in American society, or cause unknown, no one can say. Whatever the reason, everyone has wondered from time to time: what if I just lie down and close my eyes for a moment? What then? Take this quiz to find out!
I am feeling a little tired.
a. Now might be a good time for a bit of resting.
b. You think you’re special? Hit the bricks sleep-o.
I do a yawn so big I cry a little. Thoughts?
a. That’s a very big yawn!
b. This big yawn really pisses me off.
What would you say if you caught me dozing in a ray of sunshine?
a. I would simply put my hand over my heart and sigh.
b. “Wakey wakey, bitch! It is time for being awake.”
Close my eyes?
a. Shh-sh-sh-shush.
b. Don’t you fucking dare.
What happens if I am sleeping?
a. I put a warm blanket over your body and a spindly nightcap on your head.
b. “STOP SLEEPING SO MUCH,” you shout with your hands in loathsome little fists.
I fall asleep in the back of the car?
a. I circle the block until you are in REM sleep.
b. The side of the road becomes your bed.
Results:
Mostly A’s: I would be supported and protected if I lay down and closed my eyes for a moment. This could be a great option for me in the future, or even right now. Goodnight.
Mostly B’s: It would be a big disaster for me to lie down and close my eyes for a moment due to reasons of “hostility.” This sucks.
