QUIZ: Is Your Tattoo Artist Hot or Just Touching You?

It’s a conundrum as old as time: You’re in the middle of getting inked up and suddenly, you’re pretty sure you’re in love in with the artist poking or drilling into your dermis. But are they really all that: a sexpot hottie worthy of your powerful lust? Or are they simply touching you with a lot of intention and focus for a prolonged period of time? Take this quiz to find out! 


What was the first thing you noticed about your tattoo artist? 

  1. How dripping in sexy swag they were.
  2. I don’t remember – they made no impression on me at first glance! 


When did you begin having sexy feelings toward your artist? 

  1. At first sight. Recall the sexy swag. 
  2. About ten minutes into being tattooed, as their hand was pressed against my arm and I could hear their steady breath as they stared intently at my exposed flesh. 



What were you thinking while being tattooed?

  1. I was picturing our life together. Slow Sunday mornings drinking coffee in bed. Flowing conversations in the park. Free tattoos? 
  2. I was thinking how a person in a human body was sitting right by my side penetrating me with a little needle which is ultimately very intimate as well as a little kinky. 


What does this person actually look like?

  1. Gorgeous. A mischievous smile; soulful eyes; nose good. 
  2. Idk, they were wearing a mask. 


What was your biggest takeaway from this appointment?

  1. I have a new tattoo that I love and a new person for whom my heart aches and longs.
  2. A part of a body pressed against a part of my body, like a weighted blanket I could maybe have sex with.



Mostly 1s: You are straight up crushing on your hottie tattoo artist! This is so fun, but what you should do about it is nothing. If they end up fucking you over, you will forever have a tattoo by them. Keep it in the spank bank, playa! 

Mostly 2s: Okay, you’re a little bit touch starved and confused. It’s okay! Intimacy takes many forms, and that person touched you for hours straight! But ultimately, they were simply doing their job and also you couldn’t even pick their face out of a lineup. Anyway, congrats on the new ink! You can also get massages, if you want!