Is Your Guy Friend Jerking off to You?

Frenemies - Reductress

You’re talking to your guy friend, and you see that suspicious glint in his eyes. You know the one – it says, “I’m saving your tastefully low-cut top in my mind to masturbate to later.” Take the quiz below to find out if he’s really putting you in his spank bank:


  1. What kind of photos does he “like” on Facebook?
  2. The ones where you’re with elderly relatives.
  3. The ones where you ran a marathon to help someone poorer than you.
  4. The ones where you’re in a bikini making an “I’m so goofy” face.


  1. When does he Gchat you?
  2. When he wants to talk about how he’s completely over his ex-girlfriend, again.
  3. When he’s asking you if you how long to wait before sending a dick pic to a Tinder match.
  4. When he’s jerking off.


  1. You were just dumped. What does he do to cheer you up?
  2. Get you drunk on tequila and give you a back rub you didn’t ask for.
  3. Ask if you want to talk about it, and listens intently.
  4. Tell you how good he is in bed.



  1. When it comes to complimenting you, he:
  2. Loves to do it with his hands.
  3. Always compares you to the Olsen twins.
  4. Doesn’t.


  1. You call him up to hang out. Where does he want to go?
  2. Popeyes.
  3. To the bar on his block.
  4. Inside your vagina?



  1. When you ask him about his “dream girl”, he says:
  2. I like them extremely young.
  3. “Someone like you”
  4. Anything with a vagina.


  1. He’s out late with his guy friends and goes on a drunken texting spree. What does he text you?
  2. HahahHahahaA send me a boob pic plz?? i love u
  3. Where u at wanna get us chicken wings??
  4. Nothing.


  1. You guys get into an argument. He says:
  2. You’re such a dirty whore!
  3. You’re such a prude!
  4. Let’s fuck!


Let’s review the results:

Mostly A’s

He’s a guy. He’s jerking off to you.

Mostly B’s

At this exact moment, he’s definitely jerking off to you. The answers hardly matter.

Mostly C’s

By answering the quiz, you’ve proven beyond a shadow of a doubt his depravity. He. Is. Jerking. Off. To. You. My. Friend.