You’re talking to your guy friend, and you see that suspicious glint in his eyes. You know the one – it says, “I’m saving your tastefully low-cut top in my mind to masturbate to later.” Take the quiz below to find out if he’s really putting you in his spank bank:
- What kind of photos does he “like” on Facebook?
- The ones where you’re with elderly relatives.
- The ones where you ran a marathon to help someone poorer than you.
- The ones where you’re in a bikini making an “I’m so goofy” face.
- When does he Gchat you?
- When he wants to talk about how he’s completely over his ex-girlfriend, again.
- When he’s asking you if you how long to wait before sending a dick pic to a Tinder match.
- When he’s jerking off.
- You were just dumped. What does he do to cheer you up?
- Get you drunk on tequila and give you a back rub you didn’t ask for.
- Ask if you want to talk about it, and listens intently.
- Tell you how good he is in bed.
- When it comes to complimenting you, he:
- Loves to do it with his hands.
- Always compares you to the Olsen twins.
- Doesn’t.
- You call him up to hang out. Where does he want to go?
- Popeyes.
- To the bar on his block.
- Inside your vagina?
- When you ask him about his “dream girl”, he says:
- I like them extremely young.
- “Someone like you”
- Anything with a vagina.
- He’s out late with his guy friends and goes on a drunken texting spree. What does he text you?
- HahahHahahaA send me a boob pic plz?? i love u
- Where u at wanna get us chicken wings??
- Nothing.
- You guys get into an argument. He says:
- You’re such a dirty whore!
- You’re such a prude!
- Let’s fuck!
Let’s review the results:
Mostly A’s
He’s a guy. He’s jerking off to you.
Mostly B’s
At this exact moment, he’s definitely jerking off to you. The answers hardly matter.
Mostly C’s
By answering the quiz, you’ve proven beyond a shadow of a doubt his depravity. He. Is. Jerking. Off. To. You. My. Friend.
