Relationship weight gain – it happens to all of us! Ever since you and your guy made it official, you’ve packed on the pounds and shot up four clothing sizes. You used to wear little black dresses and stilettos, but now it’s XL Lululemon and Danskos for you, girlfriend. But even though you’ve fattened up like a bear preparing for hibernation, your boyfriend hasn’t said a thing about the extra pounds. In fact, he still thinks you look pretty! Here’s a list of ways to thank him for his ignorance:
Tattoo a naked photo of Kim Kardashian onto your body.
If he has to look at your flab, at least you can dress it up for him, and remind him that there’s still someone out there whose butt is still bigger than yours! Tattooing Kim lets him know that you understand he may occasionally want to look at a woman who isn’t shaped like a potato, even if he’s nice enough to be with one who is.
Encourage his video game habit for once.
You used to hate it when he’d spend all weekend on Xbox staring at unrealistically proportioned women. Now you’ll do anything to keep him indoors and away from the real world of women who can fit into pants that aren’t just leggings from Dress Barn.
Learn how to make all of his favorite junk food.
From now on, the only veggies he’ll be eating are ones that are fried and slathered in buffalo sauce. This is how you guys can be in it together – just another way to prove how much he is okay with your circle-shaped body!
Take care of his physical and mental health.
At first his ignoring of your “condition” was sweet and you were thankful, but now you should find out if maybe there’s something wrong with his vision, or his mind. You’re wearing double-digit clothing now; anyone missing that has got to be unwell.
Get him a dog!
Seriously, the best way to thank him for not caring about your size is to just get him out of the house and focusing on something else from now on. He deserves it!
You’re fat now, and somehow he still loves you. With this list, he’ll know how much you appreciate him! Don’t lose this one – a guy who will hold onto you by your love handles is a catch!