Every yoga class is an important referendum on whether you are lovable. And particularly, whether you are lovable to a very enlightened yoga teacher. So take our quiz to find out whether she’s adjusting your pose because he finds you worthy of deep unconditional love, or because you actually just suck very much at doing yoga.
What pose were you in when you were adjusted?
a.) Downward facing dog ;)
b.) Well actually they kind of kept on adjusting me in every pose; it happened 13-15 times I think. I think the only pose he did not adjust was the laying down one at the end.
How did the yoga teacher adjust you?
a.) He straddled me from behind and gently guided my arms into a deeper stretch. Then he tucked my hair behind my ear so it wouldn’t be in my face.
b.) First, he was like, “This is dangerous.” Then, he tried to help me get into the next pose, but I slipped and fell over. I tried a second time, he tried to help me stretch my legs a little, and I fell over again. Then he reminded me that I can return to child’s pose anytime I like. Then, I did child’s pose and apparently that was wrong, too.
Did they say anything to you after class?
a.) Yes!! He walked over to my mat after class and said I’ve really been progressing a lot lately and said he’d love to grab coffee sometime. We talked until we had to move for the next class coming in, and he laughed really hard and touched my arm. Then we made out a little and he carried me to my car, fireman-style.
b.) Yes! He walked over and asked me if I was okay, and then looked really stressed out and said, “Maybe you should check with a doctor before you continue working out at this gym.” Then I saw him talking to the person at the front desk and pointing at me as I left.
Results:
Mostly A’s: Congrats! Your yoga teacher loves you and definitely wants to be with you forever. While this is a super great feeling, be prepared to do yoga way more than you’d like to for the rest of your life. It’s okay though, you sound like you have great chemistry and will probably have a whole lot of sex in unnecessarily complicated positions!
Mostly B’s: You suck at yoga! They say that yoga is something that accommodates all skill levels, but you are especially bad, and should probably just give up. Maybe you should stick to Zumba instead, and stand far away from the mirrors.
