For those of us who regularly shell out $6 for a latte, there comes a day when you look up from grabbing your coffee at the counter and wonder, “Woah, have I been sleeping on my barista?” When you take your coffee from him, the sexual tension may be palpable as your fingers almost graze his, but the tension could also easily be coming from the fact that he’s handing you the chemical stimulants you need to get through the day. So take this quiz and find out if you’re really into your barista, or just having a Pavlovian response to the guy who gives you your drugs!
What’s most attractive about him?
1. The way his inquisitive eyes crinkle when he laughs – he can light up the whole room with his smile!
2. How deftly he works that espresso machine – I just know in 3-5 minutes after ordering, I’ll have caffeine coursing through my veins.
When did you realize you were attracted to him?
1. Last time when we talked a little bit while he was making my coffee! I learned so much about him – he fosters dogs, loves When Harry Met Sally, and calls him mom regularly but not too much. Ugh, dream man!
2. Last week, when he asked me if I wanted an extra shot of espresso in my latte and said “It’s on the house.” I swooned – although that could’ve been from not having my coffee yet.
What would be your ideal date with him?
1. I would take any time with him anywhere. As long as we’re doing something together, I’d be happy.
2. Probably something in the morning, like breakfast in bed. But by breakfast I mean an artisan cappuccino that he makes, and by bed I mean he brings it to me in my bed so I don’t have to stop by the cafe.
How does he make you feel when you see him?
1. Warm and fuzzy and tingly.
2. Nothing, until I get my coffee from him. Then I feel happier, my pupils dilate, and my heart starts beating faster.
Results:
Mostly 1s: Your barista is a freaking hottie and there’s more than just a chemical reason you have a pep in your step in the morning! Enjoy the lingering gazes and yearning tension as you get your daily coffee. May you never buy a Keurig!
Mostly 2s: You may be having a physical attraction, but it’s not to the aspiring screenwriter making your coffee. It’s because of that sweet, sweet brown nectar of the gods filled with legal substances that gets all your juices going. Your barista is merely the messenger giving you your happy syrup, not the one filling you with happiness. At least coffee will never ghost you!
