QUIZ: Is He Marriage Material or Does He Own Flip-Flops With The Built In Bottle Opener?

If you’ve recently started seeing a new guy, you must immediately figure out if he’s husband-material. That’s the rule! But how can you know for sure? He may seem like he’s someone you want to commit to long-term, but he may also own those weird flip-flops with the built-in bottle opener in the sole. Don’t let yourself be fooled into committing to the type of man who opens his beverages with something that has touched the floor of every bathroom he’s ever been in. Which category does your guy belong to? Take this quiz to find out!


When he talks about the future, are you in the picture?


  1. Yes! He’s been clear about wanting a future with me.
  2. Whenever I ask about the future, he laughs and says, “Life’s a beach.” Then he cracks open a Corona with the bottom of his shoe, which he was definitely wearing when he stepped in dog shit last week.


Has he introduced you to the important people in his life?


  1. Yes! I’ve become super close with his friends and family. His mom loves me!
  2. One time he accidentally brought me to his friend Scooter’s party because he forgot I was in the car. Scooter offered me a beer, which my boyfriend opened with the sole of his dirty Reef flip flop. Does that count?


What happens when you guys get in an argument?


  1. Even when things are heated, we try to understand each other’s point of view and talk it out like adults.
  2. Whenever we fight, he leaves to “go surf,” but he actually just sits in his car, drinking the Corona he opened with his bottle opener flip-flop.


It’s important to trust your gut! What does it say?


  1. I feel a special connection, and can see myself with this guy for the long-haul.
  2. Hard to tell. My gut is full of Coronas, and whatever gross shit from the bottom of my boyfriend’s shoe got into the Coronas. I should stop drinking those Coronas.




Mostly A’s: Congrats! You got a future hubby on your hands.


Mostly B’s: Sorry, sister. Your boyfriend owns flip-flops with the built-in bottle opener, so he is obviously not husband-material, which you should’ve known the moment you saw that footwear. You deserve to be with someone who’s ready to invest in YOU, not just a disgusting pair of alcohol-friendly flip-flops.