Maybe you’ve been hurt before, or maybe you just make bad decisions, but you’re not alone if you have a hard time trusting your instincts when it comes to men. Could he be the one for whom you let your guard down, or are your senses leading you astray? In other words, do you really like him, or does he just smell like a Hollister circa 2009? Take this quiz to find out:
First impressions are important. What did you first notice about him?
- Just that he had a good vibe. Like I could be myself around him right away.
- I don’t remember anything about him specifically but his presence did make me feel oddly nostalgic for the simpler yet still terrible days of my adolescence.
Do you value and respect his perspective?
- Yes. I really appreciate how he thinks about things and he’s the person I want to talk to when there’s something on my mind.
- I’m not sure, but something about him that strikes up an anxious and desperate need for approval in me — like the sort of feeling that would make you try on a thin, universally unflattering logo tee with a denim mini skirt in a dark and loud fitting room during one of the most vulnerable periods of your life.
Let’s get back to basics; is he hot?
- *Side eyes emoji* *tongue emoji*
- Were the pubeless, ripped, 0%-body-fat male models on Hollister bags hot? Maybe to some people. They mostly made me nervous and concerned my mom was going to think I was a pervert. What angst, what horror. Wait, what was the question?
Finally, how does he smell?
- Clean, warm, comforting.
- Like the cologne that Hollister and Abercrombie employees had to spray all over their merchandise every 30 minutes; the musky and overpowering scent that flooded my young nostrils as I dutifully shifted through piles of three-inch shorts ranging from XXS to medium, trying to believe that with the right selection I would become a blonde, west coast beach babe even though I was in a mall in Massachusetts.
Mostly 1s: Go to him! Tell him how you feel! This sounds like the real deal.
Mostly 2s: It sounds like he just smells like an old Hollister. Don’t let this ancient power take hold of you. Times have changed, and so should this man’s signature scent.