Is your mother ruining everything? Fuck that. Show the woman who gave you life who’s boss with these hot pinafores that say, “Get out of my fucking face, Mom.” Nothing will put that joy-murderer in her place like these classic apron-like dresses:
Blue Pinafore = “Fuck You, Mom”
A cerulean pinafore is perfect for mom-baiting because your dumbass of a mother hates the color blue. Score! Wear that biddie to church to really get a rise out of her. What, Mom? The minister loves it. Your precious minister LOVES it. Now get off my jock! Own that bitch, bitch.
Ruffled Pinafore = “Fuck You, Mom”
This’ll really stick it to your stupid mom with her stupid highlights and her stupid “pocketbook”. Ruffles kind of look like some vaginas, which your mom will hate, since she’s a sex-hating puritan monster. Matriarch? More like FAKEtriarch! Ha ha—say that to her!
Fitted Pinafore = “Fuck You, Mom”
Does your mom seem to have a problem with you flaunting what she gave you? Well that gift’s about to get re-gifted…to her lame-dog friend’s neighborhood block party. Sure, Mom, just stand there and eat your warm macaroni salad. I’ll be over here, worshipping my body like it fucking deserves.
Striped Pinafore = “Fuck You, Mom”
Remember your mom’s harrowing tour with the U.S. Navy? Well, SHE will, when she’s sees your nautical-inspired pinafore! These stripes bring ya back, Mom? Do they? Ha, thought so. Fuck you, Mom. You fucking pussy.
A-Line Pinafore = “Fuck You, Mom”
A sweet A-line pinafore will remind your asswad of a mother of what a well-behaved little girl you used to be. Oh dear, it’ll taunt her. Did something go wrong? Did you make a mistake? YOU MADE ME THIS WAY, SHARON, YOU SELF-SERVING LEECH. Your A-line pinafore will say all of that.
Moms are the worst, and pinafores are the best way to send that message to her dumb ol’ mom-ass head. So get a pinafore on your back and get your mom off it!