Onto Something Black One-Shoulder Top (Lulus, $43)
If you’re looking for a way to humiliate your hideous garbage arm at work or out on a hot date, this top is able to do double duty. Whether you’re in a business meeting or on your second date with a cutie from Tinder, this classy black shirt will let everyone know that you have a beautiful and perfect arm. But don’t worry: It’ll also hide your deepest secret, which is that your other arm is not as beautiful and perfect.