It’s been two years since I first started dating my boyfriend Brian and honestly, I love him so, so much. But after all this time, I can’t help but feel unsatisfied with one very important aspect of our relationship. Despite being an amazing boyfriend in literally every way imaginable, he still is not The Good Wife’s Josh Charles.
Don’t get me wrong; Brian has many strengths as a partner. Just last week, I came home to a beautiful candlelit dinner that he had set up in our shared apartment that he let me decorate myself because he respects my eye for design. He cooked my favorite dinner, vegetarian lasagna, even though he loves meat, and we both drank Merlot even though Brian doesn’t really like red wine. The meal was followed with a wonderful artisanal mint ice cream, that Brian couldn’t eat because he is lactose-intolerant.
In the midst of all this, I couldn’t help but think about the fact that he is not the actor Josh Charles who plays Will Gardner, Julianna Margulies’ boss on The Good Wife.
On top of his natural good looks, Brian goes to the gym and eats right. His jawline could not be more well-defined. And he’s tall but not, like, too tall, you know what I mean? But, ugh, yikes, he just doesn’t have the je ne sais quoi of celebrity actor Josh Charles. When I look at Josh Charles (also known for films such as Dead Poets Society and Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead) I am struck by his overwhelming sexual magnetism, which I would grade at a 12 out of 10. Brian’s sexual magnetism falls somewhere around an 8 out of 10 which is really good but not Josh Charles good.
Brian is great company too. Most nights after dinner, we chat about our favorite Audre Lorde and Judith Butler essays and sharing our feelings about the changing nature of feminism. He just gets me in a way that no other man has, with the exception of Josh Charles, who I think would really, really get me. I mean, just look at the way his character on The Good Wife grapples with both complex legal matters and the emotions of Alicia Florrick. Brian’s not that in touch with his emotions. How could he be?
Recently, Brian proposed. I said I would need time to think about it. Tragically, because he is not Josh Charles, who is also known for ABC’s Sports Night, and who is also still very much living and breathing and theoretically available to me at some future moment, I am not ready to give him an answer.