My Allyship Might Not Be Perfect, But It Certainly Isn’t Helpful, Either

If you’re anything like me, you also recently learned that there is racism. And sadly, some of it embedded into who we are. All us white people have internalized it so deeply that we need to work on ourselves while also helping others combat their racism. I accept that my allyship could be imperfect, and it’s possible I’ll make mistakes. But this I know to be true: My allyship will not help anyone. All I can hope is that I feel good about myself by the end and know I did all I could to make that happen.


I keep seeing people post that allyship is a verb, not a noun. But isn’t it also a process? So be okay with making mistakes! Let go of your perfectionism and just be anti-racist!


As an aspiring white ally, I am devoted to putting in a couple minutes here and there to re-posting stuff. I click through lots of Instagram stories, follow Black creatives, and buy anti-racist books from Amazon (guys, it’s so easy!) to one day put on my bookshelf (they’re going to look so rad when they all arrive!). I can’t wait for my work to be finished so I can finally start genuinely helping!


But I’m human and make mistakes. The other day I accidentally typed ‘allys’ instead of ‘allies’. I took my post down, admitted my deep regret, and detailed how I will do better. We need to accept our past in order to learn from it. It’s literally exactly like when I removed #blacklivesmatter from my Black Out Tuesday square. It’s still up if you want to see it!



Fail so fast you might never grow from your mistakes! Learning comes with time. Sit and reflect on your whiteness. The other day I did it for so long I fell asleep. It was so relaxing!


More about me: I’m also putting in the work to making more POC friends. I went to mostly-white schools, so no one ever gave me a chance to diversify my friend group. The only Black friends I have are my 2 coworkers and my neighbor growing up. We haven’t talked in like 10 years, so I found her on Instagram and DMed her that I get how she must feel so if she ever wants to rant over FaceTime with some wine, to let me know!


She left me on read, but she’s probably busy with her own stuff. I’ll message her again in a week to remind her. I want to be here for her so badly!


I’m committing so hard to imperfect allyship that I will not even end up supporting anything. And that’s ok! Don’t forget to be kind to yourself.


I want to undo racism because I think it’s a really great idea. Thankfully most of my Timeline agrees so I almost never call my friends out. I think after I undo my whiteness, I’m going to use my privilege to have the difficult conversations with my family. They like Joe Biden and Pete Buttigieg, so they seem progressive to me.


I’m not worried about my liberal town either. We’re all going to be bad allys together. Let’s start doing the work even if it’s wrong and will never help anyone but ourselves!