In a harrowing story out of Montclair, NJ, 26-year-old Taylor Hamlin reported that she was unable to enjoy the unexpected sex scene in the movie she was watching with her parents due to the motion blur setting on their TV.
“It was super distracting,” Taylor told reporters. “It felt like I was watching an awkward soap opera, and not the weird ass threesome sex scene in American Psycho that I had no idea was going to be in the movie, while sitting knee-to-knee with my mom and dad.”
Taylor added that the motion blur setting “completely ruined the experience” for her.
“How am I supposed to stew in uncomfortable silence with my parents when the sex scene we’re unintentionally watching together looks like it’s being recorded live, in real time? It just dampened the vibe.”
Reporters found that the vibe in question was, in fact, “tense” and “painfully quiet”.
Taylor’s dad, Bill, told reporters that he was surprised that the motion blur was the thing that Taylor took issue with.
“Honestly, I thought her mom and I’s terse, stilted silence would’ve been the thing to ruin the movie for her,” he said. “I didn’t even realize we had that setting on our TV until she brought it up. We just weren’t aware that was something we were able to control.”
Taylor’s mom added that her daughter’s visit changed more than just their TV settings.
“Bill and I aren’t usually ones to watch graphic sex scenes in the middle of the afternoon,” she told reporters. “Taylor was the one who wanted to watch that movie, we usually just stick to Blue Bloods, or having the news perpetually on. I really can’t see our relationship with Taylor recovering from this experience.”
When asked what she thought about her mom’s sentiment regarding the damage done to their relationship, Taylor said she agreed wholeheartedly that her parents’ blasé attitude regarding their disturbing TV display settings made her deeply uncomfortable.
“I just can’t believe they didn’t even realize they had motion blur turned off,” she said. “It was so obvious during that incredibly graphic, no-holds-barred, experimental three-way we were watching. There’s no way I’ll be able to look at them the same after that.”
At press time, Taylor and her parents were still sitting in stony silence on the couch, while Taylor tried to adjust the display settings on their TV and three people fucked each other relentlessly onscreen. Witnesses confirm the silence persisted well after Taylor was able to change the motion blur.