In an unsurprising story coming out of your afternoon walk on the first day of November, your mom has once again called just to inform you that it’s cold out.
When you agreed and asked her if she had anything else she wanted to talk about, she was confused.
“What else could we possibly talk about when it’s this cold out?” she asked, apparently under the impression that temperatures below 50 degrees were detrimental to your health. “Are you wearing a coat? Do you even own a coat?”
After assuring your mother that you owned a coat and that you were, in fact, wearing it (you weren’t), you attempted to engage her in other topics of conversation.
“She’s really hung up on the whole ‘it’s cold out’ thing,” you told reporters. “This always happens around this time of year, when fall transitions into winter. She develops temporary amnesia and thinks that I have never experienced the cold before.”
You added, “She asked me three times if I own winter boots, even though I grew up in Minnesota, she bought me a pair two years ago, and she’s seen me wearing them.”
You told reporters that, to your surprise, your mom literally had nothing else she wanted to discuss.
“I thought she was calling because she wanted to talk and was just using the weather as a convenient way in,” you explained. “But, nope, she didn’t want to talk about anything else besides the cold, and once she had confirmed that I owned the proper outerwear, she promptly hung up because she had a ‘lunch’ to get to.”
You admitted that while you were initially annoyed that your mom called to tell you something so trivial, you were now hurt that it seemed she had better things to do than chat with you.
“She cares if I survive the winter, so that’s something,” you said. “I just wish she cared about more than that.”
As of press time, your wish had come true, as your mom had called back to ask you how the job hunt was coming.
You declined to comment –– to her or reporters.
