In shocking and devastating news coming from the supermarket where you’re currently shopping, your mom is calling you to catch up and have a conversation that you’ll feel extremely loved and grateful for afterwards.
What the fuck? This is literally such a bad time!
“I’m already stressed out about getting everything I need at the store,” you told reporters. “And now my mom is calling to have a warm and uplifting chat with me, which wouldn’t really affect my shopping in any way at all? Kind of fucked up of her, not gonna lie.”
Wow! So inconsiderate!
“I wish she would just call me when I’m not doing anything important,” you continued. “Like when I’m on my phone at home or watching TV. Well, honestly, that would be pretty inconvenient for me too, so she should probably just wait until I call her.”
When asked about the last time you called your mom, you mumbled something incoherent and then trailed off before showing reporters a picture you sent her of a cat you saw on the street about a week ago.
According to your mom, who loves you more than anything on this earth, she simply doesn’t see what the big deal is.
“I don’t really like to text, so calling is the best way for me to check in,” she told reporters. “I know that younger people don’t like to talk on the phone very much, but to keep up with your family members who raised you and devoted their entire lives to you? I’m sure everyone can make that exception.”
Once you received your mom’s call, eyewitnesses reported that you audibly groaned and rolled your eyes before accepting it.
“I know my mom cares about me, and I’m so incredibly lucky to have her in my life,” you said, after putting yourself on mute during the call. “But talking on the phone gives me so much anxiety and I wish that she would understand that, even though I’ve known her literally all my life and she’s only calling to say that she loves me and she’s proud of the person I am and who I’m becoming.”
What ever happened to common decency?!
At press time, you ended your hour-long call with your mom with a smile on your face and love in your heart, then received a text from your dad that simply read, “Check CNN.”
“Finally,” you told reporters. “Someone who gets it!”
