Were you 19 yesterday, and is today your birthday? Congrats, girl—you’re finally in your 20s! Being this young will only happen 9 more times until you’re 30, which is when your jaw falls off and your IUD self-destructs (right??). So cherish every moment! Your 20s exist for you to learn the limits of the world, your abilities, and your parent’s Amex. Sure, you might act a little foolish, but you have the luxury to throw caution to the wind! Live on the edge of someone else’s checkbook and freefall into these mistakes every twentysomething needs to make when they’re guaranteed a safety net.
Choosing Your Passions Over a Career
Find your passion and follow it! Whether you love music, acting, writing, scuba diving or starting your own business, you never know what your parents will say “sure, sweetie” to, so seize the day and ask. You shouldn’t weigh yourself down with a job just yet. You’re still a sprightly twentysomething fairy with milkmaid braids and maybe even a thigh gap. This won’t last forever, so let yourself fly now. Spread your wings—that enormous wingspan is the amount of zeroes on your family’s paycheck. Even if your passions don’t pan out, you won’t regret barely having paid for it!
Not Having Any Savings
You’re 20, for Pete’s sake. Stop putting away paychecks at the expense of living life! Go to that new club they just opened, “Throat,” and take a taxi back with your heels in one hand and a bottle of rosé in the other. All twentysomethings need to do this cause we majored in sociology. Scrimping every penny will only weigh you down with the same pressure and stresses as the people who supplement your lifestyle. Stay wild! Toss all the safety nets aside from the ones in which you’re institutionally enmeshed. You will have no regrets because there will never be any consequences!
Splurging on Things That Make You Happy
Your twenties are the perfect time to make silly purchases, since you’re not saddled by responsibilities like children or a job or the responsibility of financing them alone. So you’re hungover and you want that $24 stack of saffron flapjacks. So maybe you shouldn’t have cut that $300 check to Sephora and signed it “LMFAO!” Maybe you don’t need a new car because you have a professional driver. You’re young! If you didn’t make mistakes like this, you wouldn’t know who you are or how much money others have at their disposal. (Remember: Don’t ask the girl at Sephora why she works there. Her parents might only be new money!)
Getting Arrested for a DUI while in Possession of Cocaine
Some mistakes are bigger than others. But like my legal team says, the biggest mistakes are the ones to which “guilty” is not an answer. Even if you got behind the wheel of your BMW after taking a bottle of Pinnacle vodka to the face, with an ounce of cocaine where the spare tire goes, you regret nothing. You’re not defined by your mistakes, but by the size of your family’s influence.
There you have it! Mistakes can be scary, but they won’t ever slow you down unless there’s another housing bubble burst. Listen to your curiosity as much as your mother’s financial offers, and you’ll go far! And remember: This freewheeling time of your life will only last until you turn 30, at which point you might just have to wait for your inheritance.
