Melania Marches on White House Treadmill, Feels ‘Part Of It’

While an estimated one million women across the U.S. are preparing to march on Washington tomorrow, First Lady Melania Trump is reportedly marching on the White House treadmill and now feels “part of it.”


Witnesses say that Melania wordlessly left the room and went straight the White House Gym to walk on a ProForm ZT4 treadmill.


“She kept smiling and nodding,” one staffer says. “At a couple points she whispered to herself, ‘I’m doing it.’”


Is it an act of solidarity? A quest to be included? No one is quite sure. All anyone is sure of is that Melania has been on the treadmill for over five hours and has not seemed to tire.


Democrats in Washington are puzzled, though tentatively moved by Melania’s gesture.


“When my constituents wake up tomorrow, put on their sneakers and grab their protest signs, Melania will be doing the same, kind of, we think,” says an anonymous Senator. “She was apparently blasting Katy Perry earlier, and I don’t know if that’s a good sign.”


Trump’s team is trying to give her space as she marches alone in the gym.


“We’re afraid to tell her that she has to stop because she actually has to get ready for the Inauguration,” says one staffer. “I tried to speak to her earlier, and she hushed me and said, ‘Look, I’m marching, too!’”


Those close to Melania say that it’s nice for her to participate “in her own way.”


“For the whole campaign, she’s been carted around from place to place. She’s had very little say in anything,” says an anonymous friend. “So it’s good to see her get involved.”


When asked to comment, Melania had some words of encouragement from the treadmill.



“Remember to drink lots of water,” Melania says. “One trick that always works is putting lemon wedges in my water. A little treat. We deserve it!”


Just remember, that while you’re marching for your rights tomorrow, Melania is also marching—at home, on incline 4, feeling like she’s really a part of it.