In an absolutely fucked up and twisted story coming from a text conversation with my ex after breaking up two months ago, it appears that she “genuinely wants the best for me”, which is obviously just a manipulative tactic to bring me to my knees.
Nice try, she-devil! I’m not falling for it this time.
Sources report that Tonya and I ended things after gradually growing apart, but even though the breakup was extremely amicable, there’s obviously something much more sinister going on beneath the surface now.
“Hey I hope you’re doing alright,” Tonya texted me earlier today. “I just wanted to let you know that even though we ended things, I hope there aren’t any hard feelings, and I genuinely wish you the absolute best!”
Wow, what a conniving little bitch.
“Even though I didn’t have any hard feelings towards her before, this definitely changes everything,” I told reporters. “The fact that she thinks she has to wish me the best is clearly a toxic way to make sure I keep thinking about her, while also making sure that I don’t meet anyone new, which is why this woman needs to be put on some kind of watchlist immediately.”
Literally everyone agrees this is true.
“Everyone should know the signs of a classic narcissist, and that’s why I’m letting it be known that this woman is not to be trusted,” I added. “Maybe she could be if she didn’t hit me up out of the blue to wish me the best, but now that she did, it’s crystal clear that she’s a raging sociopath.”
Witnesses confirm I had to write back to her to show her that my mind is too sharp for her dirty tricks, so I did what any other normal person faced with a master manipulator would do, and texted, “Nice try, but I’m only gonna do what I want and nothing can stop me. Don’t tell me what to do and go ahead and lose my number too.”
“We could’ve been friends and left it at that, but I guess that’s never enough for a toxic person like her!” an expert on the matter who is me said. “Hopefully she gets the help she needs one day, but I’ll never stoop to her level by wishing her the best too.”
