Man’s Fun Socks Do Not Correlate to His Personality

Although 26-year-old Matt Henry is confirmed to be wearing socks with penguins in winter scarves on them, new information has revealed that his fun socks do not correlate with his notoriously boring personality.


While many have been drawn to Matt due to his seemingly fun-loving easy-going appearance, this hasty conclusion has led to great disappointment upon learning about his life.


“It’s actually pretty interesting – I was raised in this town called Winnetka,” says Matt. “But I was born in Glencoe, which is a few minutes north of Winnetka, and my mom was born a few miles south of Winnetka, in a town called Wilmette. It’s a pretty funny story.”


“Cause the craziest part is that my dad is from Skokie,” he added, while wearing very fun socks.


Sources confirm that despite the fact that his sock drawer is filled with llama socks, avocado socks, pizza socks and fuzzy socks galore, most people tire of talking to him for longer than a few minutes at a time.



“I approached Matt at our company’s holiday party, cause based on his socks, he seemed like a cool dude,” says Maria Davis. “Little did I know his octopus socks and light-up tie were a trap and that I’d be stuck talking about his car insurance for 25 minutes.”


“Once I asked him where he got his alien socks to see if maybe there was something behind his choice,” says Rick Santos. “But he just told me a long-winded story about how the Ancient Greeks wore a version of socks called piloi made from animal hair.”


“It’s actually a funny story,” Matt said, when asked about the reason behind his sock choice. “My uncle, so he’s really tall, lives in Kenosha, he used to be a UPS delivery person. And one day, he delivered a package to this guy who was wearing red socks, and he thought I’d like them so he bought those for me. And so one thing led to another and now I wear socks that are a little out there. Pretty funny stuff.”