Dating App Match Becomes Fun Little Pen Pal!

In recent news, 23-year-old Abby Teague matched with 24-year-old Scott Flanagan on Tinder. Despite an initial loose plan to get drinks sometime that was quickly abandoned, they have instead become fun little pen pals!


“Abby is really cool,” says Scott. “I’m so glad we connected via Tinder, because now I have a lifelong friend who I will continue to communicate with virtually but never see. This way, I don’t have to be vulnerable and get to convince myself I’m making strides in my love life!”


Sources confirm their relationship is so freaking cute, even though everyone is a little bit confused as to where this new friendship is going.


“Pen pals are great! You don’t have to be in the same place to make a lifelong connection,” says Abby. “I will say that we are ultimately four miles away from each other, but we’re never going to meet so it’s basically like we’re in different continents.”


Scott has decided that frequently messaging Abby without every asking her out on an actual date is the best move for him right now due to his inability to open up emotionally. Meanwhile, Abby’s friends explain her reasoning for keeping the relationship virtual.


“She gets home, sits on the couch around 8pm and chats with Scott until she’s ready for bed,” says her roommate Lizzie Kart. “They’ve invested so much time into getting to know each other without ever actively making plans to meet, which sounds really unhealthy?”


Abby and Scott have dismissed this and decided this is an incredible thing for both of them.



“Although I did get this app in order to make connections with people by pushing myself outside my comfort zone,” says Scott. “I’ve found that it’s actually a lot easier to live my regular life of going to work, never showering and masturbating sadly at night instead. Now, I just text Abby in between all those things.”


At press time, Abby did confirm she did suggest drinks but it was merely a formality.


“Instead, we texted about our career dreams and then I fell asleep,” says Abby. “It’s perfect! Also, I’m assuming he’s really hot, which probably isn’t true so this way I get to pretend!”


Hopefully these two best friends never meet cause they will be unbelievably disappointed!