In a story developing out of your living room, your boyfriend Jake doesn’t really understand why you’re “feeling gaslit,” because he literally never said any of the things you’re claiming he did. And also, you’re being a huge bitch.
The conflict arose when Jake informed you he was going out with his friends to bet on a little league game tonight, which would directly conflict with the date night you’ve been planning for weeks.
“What? You told me you were free tonight to go to a museum and grab a drink after,” you said, incredulous. “We’ve been planning this for weeks! And after you missed our last date night, you promised it wouldn’t happen again.”
Jake then promptly replied, “I never said that, and also we haven’t been planning anything for weeks, because I never would have agreed to it,” which is a blatant lie.
Sources confirm you then told him you were feeling very gaslit right now, to which he responded, “Well, I have no clue why you’re feeling gaslit, because I legit never said any of that.” He also went on to accuse you of not knowing what “gaslighting” means.
“Gaslighting is when you say something and pretend you never said it,” he continued, getting the definition pretty wrong and giving an in-person demonstration of another useful term: mansplaining. “This isn’t gaslighting because I genuinely never said that and don’t know what you’re talking about, and you sound crazy right now.”
You then showed Jake the text exchange from a couple of days ago where you asked, “Still on for Friday night at the museum, babe?” and he replied, “Absolutely! Can’t wait.”
This didn’t appear to get through to him, because Jake decided to pretend he couldn’t read.
“You definitely can read,” you continued. “In fact, you can write, because you sent me this text message.”
Jake then accused you of being manipulative and encouraged you to take a deep breath “before you say anything you regret.”
“Listen, if I were gaslighting you, I would own up to that, because taking accountability is so important,” he continued, putting weeks of therapy to good use. “But I’m not gaslighting you, so I won’t be taking accountability for anything. In fact, you should take accountability for being nuts right now.”
As of press time, you’d decided it was probably time to break up. Your friends were over the moon, considering they told you to do so months ago.
