Early this evening at McGlinchey’s Bar, 28 year-old Nick Martin judged a woman for her looks after loudly complaining that she couldn’t see past his.
“A hot woman like her will never be interested in me because hot women can’t see past my looks,” Martin says. “If she got to know me, she would understand how much I appreciate the originality of the movie High Fidelity. But she won’t, because all hot women are shallow.”
Amelia Lee, a 26 year-old stem cell researcher and the woman in question, disagrees.
“I can tell he’s making all these assumptions about my personality and motivations. He asked me if I was one of those ‘CrossFit girls.’ That’s why I’m not interested,” she explains. “Also, isn’t him basing those assumptions on the way I look truly the more shallow thing here?”
Martin insists that if Lee would just stop thinking about how attractive she is and pay attention to his sensitive nature and love for John Updike novels, she could truly understand him in a real way.
“It just sucks that she will never look past my physical appearance and into my mind, which is filled with one really great recipe for bacon-wrapped dates,” Martin says. “But why would she bother? She’s a hot shallow woman who wants a hot, shallow man.”
“I don’t have an obligation to get to know him,” Lee says while rolling her eyes. “Besides, it seems like he’s only capable of either idolizing or resenting me.”
“I don’t idolize hot women,” Martin insists. “It’s just that hot women are like mystical creatures who wake up every morning feeling amazing, who coast around on wings of praise, without ever having to worry about if people are judging them unfairly.”
In response, Lee began listing her worries and accomplishments until she decided she didn’t need to defend herself.
Pressed for comment, Martin claims he didn’t hear what Lee said because he was too busy thinking about the final scene of the movie Manhattan.
“It’s a great scene,” Martin notes while sipping his microbrew. “Anyway, she’s not interested in me for superficial reasons, I guess that’s her loss.
“Nope, it’s not,” Lee says as she heads out of the bar.
Later on in the night, Martin was overheard letting a woman with short hair know that she wasn’t his “type.”
