During a recent sexual encounter, New York City resident Roger Morris complained incessantly about having to wear a condom, only to fall asleep in it right after he came.
“It’s too tight and sex just feels so much better without one. Frankly having to wear a condom during sex just really sucks,” Roger reportedly said before swiftly falling asleep in it.
Despite claims that the condom was “choking” his penis to the point of “extreme pain”, Roger managed to comfortably fall asleep wearing it within three minutes of ejaculating.
Patricia Gomez, Roger’s sexual partner, recalls the events of the evening.
“It was a whole back and forth between us,” she explains. “I finally just told him we were absolutely not going to have sex without a condom and he shut up. But once the condom was on he kept saying ‘it hurts’ . Then, as soon as he came he was out like a light! Like it couldn’t have been that uncomfortable if he fell asleep in it.”
Still, Roger insists that wearing a condom shouldn’t be a necessary step to having sex with a new partner.
“If I’ve been tested for STDs and she’s on the pill then it shouldn’t matter,” he says. “Condoms feel like you’re wrapping a rubber band around your dick. Just so tight and horrible it’s all you can think about.”
“I had to take it off of him,” adds Patricia. “He didn’t even flinch when I removed it to take it to the bathroom. It seemed like he was actually pretty comfy in it.”
“Condoms are also super expensive,” Roger added.
But Patricia explains why other methods of birth control are not an option.
“I actually can’t be on birth control because it causes me to have massive bouts of anxiety and depression,” she explains. “Which, incidentally, are extremely uncomfortable, painful and make it really hard to sleep.”
Despite the fact that he snoozed for over an hour wearing a deflated condom, Roger insists condoms are “an attack on penises” and they “ruin the mood.”
But Patricia sees things differently.
“Actually the mood was ruined when Roger immediately fell asleep on top me, still wearing a condom,” says Patricia.