It’s Friday night! You have a big night of babysitting ahead of you, and you know you can’t just show up with a boring, natural look! You need to add a little life to your face, because you know that young, catty toddler is going to call you out. Here are some simple tips to get you through the night and impress the toddler enough so that they don’t say, “Megan, you look tired and sad.”
Foundation, Foundation, Foundation
Toddlers are little sponges, which is a good reminder to bring your makeup sponges! There’s nothing more upsetting than showing up half-caffeinated and hearing that three-year-old declare, “Megan looks sick!” to their mom. Throw some foundation all over that adult acne for a fresh and fun look that says, “Eat whatever snack you want! I’m still young enough to be called a babysitter!”
A Nice Lipstick
Toddlers are great at catching those times where your lips are a chapped mess. In order to get Payton to stop asking “what’s that” over and over until you consider leaving him at a local fire station, simply say, “Megan needs to use the bathroom” and go smear on some lip gloss. Extra points if the gloss is shiny and sparkly—you’ll fit right in with the toddler’s ideal of what a woman should look like. It also helps to avoid all those other statements of, “Your lips are scary like a monster.” You’re the monster, Payton!!
Don’t Overdo the Eyes
Mascara is a great way to deter any body-shaming statements from a toddler, like “Megan, I like you when you’re pretty.” Make sure to skip out on the dark eyeliner and dramatic eyeshadow. Remember: Kids hate clowns. You want to impress this toddler, not have them point and shout, “You’re the scary man from Kyle’s birthday party!”
Give a Little Cheek Color
A final tip when getting ready to go out for a night of babysitting is to add a little cheek color to that foundation. You don’t want to be caught in the crossfire questioning of a two-year-old when they want to know why you are so pale “like an old ghost”. Simply add a cheek stain for an instantly flushed look that will tell any toddler, “This isn’t about me right now; it’s about you pottying on the living room floor when your mom is five minutes from home.”
Stick to these simple tips and tricks to make you feel not as judged by a kid who isn’t fully potty trained. You may be able to get away with just throwing your hair in a bun and wearing old t-shirts, but a toddler is your most truthful critic out there—so use these suggestions next time you see your pint-sized little bully.