We all know that woman who skips into work looking just a little bit weird in the face, but what’s her secret? Three words: the R train. Here are the beauty secrets you can master by doing your makeup in transit:
Mask-Like Foundation
Applying base is crucial to achieving a flawless skin tone — except on the subway, when base is all about not hitting the person next to you with your foundation brush. Be sure to apply as liberally as possible on an old train under the slightly broken light for the most mask-like results.
“Creative” Eyeliner
With all the speeding around corners and sudden stopping inside tunnels, just take your pencil and apply it anywhere on or near your eyeballs. Remember: The bolder you are when applying eyeliner, the more impact it will have when your hand slips and draws a vertical line toward your eyebrow.
Panic Attack Blush
Is that rosacea on your cheeks, or are you just pleased to be out of the burn unit? You guessed it: The “just got my arm caught in the doors for more than a few seconds” blush look is all about getting a dangerous level of red onto those cheeks of yours. The total absence of natural light makes it impossible for you to judge if you’ve gone too far into the “evening look”, but don’t panic — the rest of the world can do that for you!
Impressionist Mascara
If you don’t almost lose an eye every time you apply mascara on a busy subway train, you’re not doing it right! As your fellow passengers push into you from every angle, keep running that wand through your lashes, top and bottom. The more blobs of mascara that get rubbed under, over and in your eyes…the more ready you’ll be for that early morning meeting uptown!
Lipstick
Draw attention to your cupid’s bow by accidentally applying lipstick all around the outside of your lips during a temporary power outage. Lipstick can be hard to remove, leaving you with a series of enigmatic pink patches where you’ve tried to rub it off. Pro tip: Apply a generous coat to your teeth to get that “just got off a delayed 7 train” look!
Will the other subway passengers judge you for putting on makeup on public transit? Who cares! Your coworkers won’t know anything besides how unique you look, you time-saver, you!
