The idea of homeownership has become a pipe dream to many millennials. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t spend the disposable income you aren’t saving for a property to call your own on some overpriced material items to make you feel like you’ll eventually have that amount of wealth! If you’re looking to feel fancy without the hassle or lifetime benefits of owning property, here are some Lululemon yoga pants you can wear around to feel like you have the financial stability to own a house!
Speed Up Tight, $108
The sleek, basic design of these skin-tight yoga pants will make you look like the high-income, low debt homeowner you always dreamed of becoming! And in six different colors, you can change them to match the mood of whatever “room” you’re in your current tiny, shitty rental apartment: black for the bathroom, mauve for your closet, sky blue for the kitchen/foyer/living room combination! Now that’s a thing that a homeowner would do!!
Wunder Under Low-Rise Tight, $98
Nothing says riche like salmon-colored clothing! So with these low-rise leggings, you’ll absolutely look the part of a young professional mother in the suburbs, whose husband is a corporate attorney in the big city but makes it home every day in time to enjoy a home-cooked meal that was actually cooked in the home that you two actually own. You can do it without the burden/stability of a dumb, stable investment!
Align Jogger, $98
If you’re into a more relaxed fit, these jogger-style yoga pants are the way to go. While you’ll look more casual, your air will still be one of someone who’s part of a generation that a previous generation didn’t completely fuck over economically. Millennials are being forced to cling to meaningless material possessions and project a false sense of stability and comfort on our myriad social media platforms because, deep down, we all know that the economy is crumbling around us and none of us are okay and we probably won’t be able to afford to have children either but what would be the point anyway because we’ll never own a house to raise them in! The pants are cute.
If you’re in the mood to spend $100 on some exercise pants to wear and pretend you have a house, try any of these overly-priced Lululemon options. In no time, you’ll look and feel like someone who actually owns the place that they live, even though you don’t and never will!
