No, You Look Good – How to Never Take a Compliment

It happened again. Someone told you how pretty you are, or how smart you are, or how your boots go perfectly with you cardigan. No self-respecting woman accepts compliments. We don’t deserve them. So what do you do when someone compliments you?

Deflect Those Kind Words

Someone complimented you on your job performance? Change the subject like an insecure tenth grader. Mention what a great job everyone else is doing. Talk about how good they look.

Deny and Denigrate

Someone likes your makeup? Insist you look terrible and mention that your troll beard is growing back. If they praise your wit or intelligence, describe how you’re so dumb you spent 20 minutes watching what you thought was a movie only to find out it was a cat .GIF. Fabricate an entire narrative, disproving their theory, if necessary.


Get Violent

When combatting your positive image as a nice and pleasant person, violence is always an option. Respond to those kind words with a swift kick to the face or a sharp poke at their chest. Get in their face so that they know you won’t take compliments sitting down.

Remember: when women accept compliments, they became conceited bitches no one wants to talk to anymore. Don’t let that happen to you. You’re too nice. No, you’re right; you’re not nice. I’m glad you’ve been paying attention.