Inappropriately Human Gifts for the Pet in Your Life

Whether you’re spending the holidays alone with your pets because your human relatives are intolerable, or because they find you intolerable, make sure to give your furry friend a gift that says, “Let’s pretend you’re a person.” Here’s our annual Inappropriately Human Gift Guide for Pets!


A Journal
So what if your corgi isn’t capable of cognitive thought? That doesn’t mean he wouldn’t enjoy the therapeutic benefits of a hand-bound journal with a deeply personal inscription from his best friend and owner.


Keurig Single-Cup Coffee Brewer
What better way to cozy up with your only confidant than with a coffee brewed through a cold and unfeeling automated machine? Teach your little furball to insert the k-cup, fill the water reservoir, select her cup size, press start, and your both on your way to a life free of human interference.


Sudoku: The Complete Collection
Feed your creature’s mind with this collection of challenging brain games. These will keep him busy for hours, preventing unnecessary trips to the dog park and the intrusive conversations that might bring.


Rare Malt Whiskey
Nothing says, “I know you better than you know yourself” like buying a golden retriever 31-year-old aged whiskey. So build that fire, pour a couple of stiff ones and snuggle up to the one being that truly understands you.


The Blue Print Cleanse
Pets eat a lot of garbage, so start the year off right by cleaning out your snuggle’s digestive system. Blue Print Cleanse offers three different kinds of juice-based cleanses that get delivered right to your doggy door. Just $400 gives you the perfect excuse to lay on each other for a whole week.


Citi Bike Membership
Pets make such good friends because they love to do activities. Invest in Citi Bike memberships for the two of you and see the city with your Bichon by your side. Unlike cabs, buses, and trains, the only human component is you!