It Takes Me Longer to Cum Than It Takes to Become a Cop?

Hi, everyone, I’m here and fucking FUMING because I just found out that it takes six months to become a fully armed cop. I think this is absolutely ridiculous, not only because people who are in charge of enforcing the law should have to study more, but also because it took me five full years to be able to cum.


I, like many women, had trouble being able to cum and was not able to cum until I was 20 years old. To be clear, I spent five years of my life learning, searching, and training. Yes, it was worth it, but why did I have to spend that much time vigorously masturbating to be able to experience a fundamental bodily function when Jeremy Bernstein, the guy with an anger streak from high school is allowed to attack and kill people after six months of half-assed training and jogging around a track? The same Jeremy Bernstein that got a DUI on grad night?


Awesome. That sounds totally reasonable.



You want to know how close I was to cumming after six months? Not close at all. I’m talking 30 minutes of spinning records with no cigar. Meanwhile, fucking Jeremy over there decided after spending a few years after high school being stoned in his mom’s basement that he could waltz over to the sheriff’s office and get a job that literally puts him in charge of a gun. And he could! We let people do that, apparently.


I’ve been used to unfairness before, but this just feels like a slap in the face. You’re telling me I could have spent six months of my journey to cumming becoming a cop and I would be a cop, but still not be able to cum?


Fuuuuuckkkkkkk that! And fuck Jeremy Bernstein.