Isn’t This, Like, the Third Going Away Party for Rebecca?

One of the toughest things that can happen in your adult life is having a really close friend move away. It’s a huge loss when a loved one so deeply ingrained in your life is suddenly gone. It’s hard to say goodbye, but I can’t help but ask—isn’t this the third going away party we’re having for Rebecca?


Listen, I understand it’s as hard to leave a place you’ve called home for so long. I’m sure Rebecca is feeling a lot of emotions about moving to Wichita. And I totally get that she would want to spend her remaining time here with us—but I’m busy, and I don’t understand why I’m expected to be at all three of these going away functions. Like, I can’t just keep attending going-away parties. Isn’t there some kind of limit to this? I have a baby shower I have to go to this Sunday.



First we sent her off with a “Happy Au Revoir,” crying over shared memories until the early hours of the morning. It felt like the perfect sendoff, and I felt prepared to part ways with Rebecca—until I got a Google calendar invitation for “Brunch, Brunch, and Away!” two days later. Now a full week has passed and we’re still sipping Moscow mules at the “Moscow Mules for Rebecca’s Wichita Move” event and it’s like, am I the only one who’s ready to send the bitch off? Also, these cutesie names are getting worse and worse. Quit while you’re ahead and get the fuck out of our town, Rebecca!


Also I’m so sad you’re moving away, girl!!


At this point, I feel like she’s never left, because she hasn’t. I just keep asking Rebecca questions like, “So when do you leave?” and “I thought you were supposed to leave last Sunday.” You know, gentle nudges to let her know how sad I am that she’s going to be out of my life for good. At the first going away party I brought her a long heartfelt note expressing how much I would miss her but now it’s kind of just handshakes and at least one Irish goodbye cause I was kind of tired and bored during the last one.
But I can’t wait to visit you in Wichita soon!!


Next week when Rebecca leaves, I’m going to have a lot of feelings—mostly of relief! Thank you for all the memories!