Having trouble finding a man that wants to share his life with you? These days, most people have trouble making a lasting connection because they don’t have the right iPhone case. If true love is your end game, here are several protective cases that literally scream “I don’t even believe in marriage!”
1: The Glitter-bomb
What you think it says: I’m pretty and fun!
What it actually says: I’m a leg-spreading, syphilis mule.
Glitter is like garlic – a little goes a long way. Look sweet but sensible with a case that has a light shimmer. If you do go for the bolder disco look, keep it in your purse. Make sure he has his eyes are on you, not just your hot-ass phone.
2: The Plain Jane
What you think it says: I’m confident but don’t have a big ego!
What it actually says: I wait 10 dates before giving a hand job.
Finding a man interested in a serious relationship takes more than playing the long game – you have show you are willing to have fun! Let him know you are spunky and spontaneous by spicing up your boring iPhone case with something a little more flashy, such as a subtle plaid or striped pattern. Real men notice this.
3: The Chastity Belt
What you think it says: I take care of my things!
What is actually says: I can’t love again.
There is such a thing as overly protecting yourself, and it will show through your iPhone case. While past heartaches may still hurt, put your ex-boyfriend Marcus and your ex-phone Samsung Galaxy S4 behind you by setting your phone free from the confines of an Otterbox. There’s no better way to trade up in Hulk than trading down in Bulk.
4: The Skinny Dipper
What you think it says: I’m a free spirit!
What is actually says: I will hurt you and turn you gay.
If you’re serious about getting serious, do your love life and your phone a favor and cover that shit up. How can a man trust you with his heart if you don’t even cover up your smart device? If you want a man to protect you, he needs to see that you’ll protect him, so make sure you protect your phone. You don’t want him to worry about being so injured by you that he won’t be able to date a woman ever again.
5: The Mismatched Sock
What you think it says: I’m poor.
What it actually says: I’m super poor.
While living on a tight budget can be difficult, it doesn’t mean that you have to sacrifice your feminine tastes. You wouldn’t go out of the house with a red blouse and a patterned thong, would you? Then why would you pick a red case for your pink iPhone 5C? Mismatching your phone case to your phone’s color is EXACTLY the same thing. Spend a little more money on a case that matches, and maybe you’ll find a match of your own.
Toss that old iPhone case away and pick up something that shows you’re wife-material. If you want that ring-ring, make sure he’ll pick you up!
