In a story coming from Los Angeles, CA, your friend Angie Torres has reportedly posted a candid photo of you to social media, instead of telling you to your face exactly how you wronged her and why she hates you.
“I have no idea what I did to Angie, or why she hates me now,” you told reporters. “Ever since I saw that violent photo, I’ve just been sitting here trying to figure out where our friendship went wrong.”
According to sources, Angie had taken the candid photo this weekend while your friend group was at lunch. The photo shows a group of five friends at the table, while you are visibly using your tongue to try to remove some food stuck in your teeth. While you tried to be stealthy about this, sources confirm a chia seed appeared to be really fucking wedged in there, and you were shown frowning slightly as you muscled the seed out of your gums.
Sources say Angie had posted this photo to Instagram with the caption, “Just lads being homies,” followed by an avocado emoji.
“Did I make an offhand remark? Did I attack her family or moral character?” you said, shaking your head. “I scrolled through all our text messages, trying to find out when the seeds of enmity were first sowed.”
According to reports, you decided to confront Angie about this hostile PR campaign against you, and shared the damning photo with her directly in a DM.
When you asked, “Ummm Angie are you mad at me?” Angie reportedly replied, “What? Huh? No!”
But sources say you see right through Angie, her passive communication style, and her chronic avoidance of conflict, which is frankly toxic and super harmful.
“This is an extremely childish way of dealing with conflict,” you said. “I wish she’d just come right out and say it. We’re adults here. Maybe it’s because I didn’t invite her to coffee last week?”
Ever since confirming that Angie has it out for you, sources say you have been grieving the bitter loss of a good friend you had had some great times with.
Reports say a resentful part of you has even been tempted to fire back at Angie, and dig up some super uggo stealth candids of her you probably have floating around in the deep recesses of your Camera Roll.
At press time, however, you confirmed that you would be walking away from this fight for good, out of respect and love for your old friend Angie, and because there’s probably way more ammo in her Camera Roll than yours.
