I’m Qualified to Date Older Women Because I Don’t Know How to Use the ‘Create’ Feature on Instagram

At this point in my life, I’ve exhausted dating people my own age and feel ready to connect with someone older, wiser, and with a unique perspective from my own. Of course, ideal though the fantasy may be, anyone would be likely to run into some obstacles when dating intergenerationally. It may feel at times that you grew up in different worlds, speak different cultural languages — but if you’re a different sort of young person like me, these stumbling blocks are more than possible to overcome. Here’s why I’m qualified to date older women because unlike most people my age, I don’t know how to use the ‘Create’ feature on Instagram.


People my age seem to spend their whole lives online. Every thought needs to be shared, every moment publically documented. That’s just part of why I long to forge an authentic and passionate connection with a more mature woman. And while it may be true that I tweet several times a day (on my main, it’s much more than that on my alt), and use perhaps 60% of my brain thinking about whatever the craziest, messiest Twitter drama of the day is, it is also true that I have never once used the Instagram create story feature and honestly am not even sure what it is.



While no one has ever told me I’m an “old soul”, I do very much identify as one and think that my penchant for introspection and detachment from the materialism of modern life make me a prime candidate for romance with someone who has clocked a few more years on this blue marble. I do love memes and making fun of conservative teen TikTokers, and I have absolutely no patience for trying to explain these concepts to anyone with less social media literacy (just ask my parents!), but at the end of the day, I just think I would be better matched for an elegant older woman who has nice sheets and “reads books” in bed at night by the light of a lamp on a bedside table, both of which she also has. And I know I can give her what she needs, too, because seriously the most I do with IG stories is take pictures of my cat and post them to Close Friends. “Create”? Why? Is it just like a regular story but without a photo? Who is that for?


While I may currently be “between jobs”, unsure what I want to do with my life, addicted to my phone, and about three years away from starting therapy, I know that what I need right now is to date someone much older than me. So ladies, consider this my Instagram poll asking, “Date me? Y/N”, and if you don’t know what that means, then don’t worry, because I don’t know how to make one.