I Swear, the Only Candy I Like is Dark Chocolate

You’re going to have a hard time believing this, but I actually don’t eat most sweets! Isn’t that crazy? It is seriously the silliest thing, because I am not even trying to watch my weight or anything. I just don’t really like the taste! I don’t EVER crave sweets. Seriously, I will eat maybe one square of dark chocolate once a month or something, just for its antioxidant properties, you know? It’s really good for your skin in small doses. And I actually don’t mind the taste of dark chocolate that much, because it has a certain bitterness. I don’t know, I guess I just have a mature palate like that.


Milk chocolate is another story, though. I just don’t care for it! The same goes for fruit pies, ice cream, custards, even bread pudding, which isn’t even that sweet. I just don’t like dessert! And I’ve never been a candy person, either. Candy bars, hard candies, fudges, truffles (yuck!), and all the store-brand things like licorice sticks and gummy bears. I don’t even know—they’re just icky to me. Why are they sooo sweet?! It has always confused me. And the unnatural fruit flavors? If I want something that tastes like a strawberry, I just eat a strawberry! LOL! Am I crazy???



I have always been this way. When I was a girl all the other kids used to tease me and call me “string bean”—it was actually really hurtful. But the name kind of fit in more ways than one because I have always been thin and I have always really enjoyed the taste of vegetables. Give me broccoli over a crème brûlée any day! I wish the teasing had stopped during childhood, but people still seem to hate me for my healthy choices.


Halloween was and still is a nightmare for me. Don’t get me wrong: I love dressing up in costumes. Last year I was a mermaid with a seashell bra. The year before that I was Cat Woman and wore one of those skin-tight suits. But like, how many times do I have to tell people, I just don’t want any candy! People say those little Milky Ways and Snickers bars are so hard to resist, but I don’t get it. I’d rather be doing something active, like dancing around in my costume. It’s fun!


So anyway, no judgment toward the rest of you—If you want a dessert, you should totally go for it! Whatever you want to have, you should have it. I’m just gonna grab a green tea with a little splash of kava—it tastes so earthy! I can’t get enough! Maybe later if I’m feeling a little crazy, I’ll get a piece of dark chocolate, but for now this is totally hitting the spot.