There is a pivotal moment in everyone’s life when you realize you’re no longer a teenager. Whether it’s the hangover hitting a little too hard the next morning or having to Urban Dictionary a word you keep seeing on your Twitter feed, our age catches up to us. We can avoid it all we want, but time comes for all of us and it finally came for me last week when I was rewatching the film Easy A and thought Stanley Tucci was way hotter than Penn Badgley.
It was just a regular Wednesday night – I was scrolling through all of my friends’ streaming subscriptions, looking for something to put on. After ignoring all critically acclaimed movies I keep meaning to watch, I finally settled on re-watching a beloved classic from my teenage years: Easy A.
Little did I know this choice would alter my life forever.
At first, it was smooth-sailing. I laughed along with Emma Stone’s quirky high school hijinks and Amanda Bynes’ holier-than-thou attempts to stop it. And when Penn Badgley came on screen as Emma Stone’s love interest, I too, wished I had a popular, sensitive guy who I never talked to yet still saw me for who I really was.
But then, something shifted.
As the movie went on, I found myself being magnetically drawn to Stanley Tucci when he was on screen. With every scene, his abundant charisma and impeccable comedic timing drew me in. Even when Penn Badgley was shirtless by the pool, flirtatiously jostling Emma Stone, my mind wandered to Stanley Tucci, wondering what tight Henley shirt he was going to wear next. And when he pounded the pantry door in mock outrage, something awakened deep inside of me.
Suddenly, Penn Badgley was nothing. Just another guy doing the bare minimum – sure he has an endearing Say Anything moment at the end when he serenades Emma Stone. But Stanley Tucci? Stanley Tucci is a loving husband and supportive father with a je ne sais quoi sex appeal the whole damn film. Is this who I’ve become? And furthermore, am I even mad?
Still, the moment Stanley Tucci turned from a dad to a daddy under my female gaze, my worldview was shattered. Did I have more in common with middle-aged moms than teenage girls now? Not possible! I still shop at Forever 21!
But as the movie ended and I caught myself adding Stanley Tucci: Searching for Italy on my watchlist, I realized I had indeed, grown up. No longer into the shaggy haired boys of Gossip Girl, I was entering adulthood with a full-blown love for this sexy, bald man.
But you know what? If growing old is ogling Stanley Tucci’s arms as he makes breakfast over a shirtless Penn Badgley at a pep rally, I never want to be young again!
