After dating a man I adored for six months, he abruptly ended things, claiming we were in “really different places”. More specifically, I was falling in love with him, and he did not love me at all and wanted to break up. That’s when I realized: I can’t make you love me, Matt, but trust me, I will be doing everything in my power to fucking try.
Dating someone who doesn’t love you back is incredibly painful. I always thought I was totally right for my ex, but by the end I knew his heart couldn’t fully fall for me. When he ended things, he told me that even though he cared for me, he felt like some piece was missing. What piece? I will spend the next three years figuring it out and changing aspects of myself to convince him to love me back.
People always say the only love you should go after voraciously is self-love. To that I say: nah. Instead, I’ll spend the next year aggressively curating a social media presence for myself that Matt can’t help but adore so that when we “accidentally” bump into each other right outside his house in seven months he realizes what he’s been missing and falls in love with me then. I will get him to love me, or I will go to Hell in a handbasket while I’m trying.
I know deep down that if you don’t love yourself, you can’t truly love another person. So, Matt, if you’re struggling with self-love, don’t worry, I will do everything in my power to make you love me. I will sever all ties with my family. I won’t talk to best friend Emily anymore because her voice annoyed you. I’ll vow to give you morning blow jobs every day for the rest of your life. See? Everything is going to work out, and if it doesn’t, you can bet your sweet ass I will not quit trying until I’m dead. That’s my self-love.
To all the women out there who have shown love to a man who can’t return it, I want you to know that no man can determine your worth. You are lovable and if this guy doesn’t love you, someone will come along who does. But until then, don’t give up on this guy until he’s so totally exhausted by you. Because you know what? That’s what real love is.
Although you don’t know it yet, you are going to fall in love with me, Matt. And if you don’t, too bad! I will keep trying to force it until I kill you. See you soon, my love!
