I Always Find Time in My Busy Schedule to Try Fitting Both Fists in My Mouth

Being busy seems like a badge of honor for many people, but I refuse to let it become one for me. No matter how busy my life becomes with my full-time job and my family I will always find time in my packed schedule to try fitting both fists in my mouth. I’ve been trying for years now and I refuse to give up.


You see, our culture has an unhealthy complex where we glorify the idea of being busy. We constantly brag about how busy we are while complaining about how little free time we have. But I believe we all have some time we can free up to try putting at least one fist in our mouths, if not two. We simply convince ourselves we can’t.


It took me a long time to realize this. But I’ve never been more content since I allowed myself to try squeezing my own meaty, clenched hands into my mouth every day. Why can’t everybody make this simple effort?


When I first started to slowly, painfully shove both fists into my mouth, I thought, “Am I wasting my time doing this? My mouth doesn’t seem to be getting any bigger.” But trust me when I tell you: It’s not a waste of time. It’s never a waste of time to stop doing things for other people and do what you want instead—to simply surprise and delight yourself by stuffing one fist into your mouth, then seeing if the other one will also fit.


In my case, I’ve never gotten the second fist in, but constantly attempting to do so makes me feel more alive than I’ve ever felt.


I used to work overtime because the thought of relaxing scared me. Now I look forward to getting in my snowflake pajama set, pouring myself a glass of Merlot and returning to my room to enjoy a verdant oasis of downtime in which I struggle to engulf my whole right fist with my mouth before moving onto the left.



I used to measure my self-worth with external awards and other societally-approved accomplishments, so it took a lot of strength for me to step back from my narrow definition of success, and confidently claim time for myself with no other agenda than to see if I could get all two of my big hands to go into my small mouth at the same time.


Trying to achieve this feat requires patience – a quality we don’t appreciate enough in today’s fast-paced society. It’s also extremely difficult, even impossible. To those people I say: I’m not a quitter. And I don’t care if my mouth is “literally not big enough” to contain two fists.


Nobody can tell me what is or isn’t a worthwhile use of my time anymore, and certainly nobody can tell me how many fists can go in my mouth at once. One of these days it’s going to be two, and that’s that.


I understand if others find my use of time unappealing. After all, constant busyness is a habit deeply ingrained in each of us. Even when we go home, we reach for our phones or log into Facebook to talk to friends. We avoid being truly alone so we never have to see if our hands will fit in our mouths, because we’re terrified they can’t.


However, I encourage you all to try anyway, and to always believe that two fists can and will go into your mouth at once even though it seems impossible.