How To Tell If You’re A Quiet Girl or A Ghost

single woman

Is your crush ignoring you, and you’re not sure if it’s because he didn’t notice you or if it’s because you’ve been dead for 70 years? Ask yourself these questions to determine whether you figuratively do not exist because you’re bland, or if you literally do not exist because you’re a specter made of ectoplasm.


Do you spend your free time in your bedroom reading a book, or in an attic rattling chains?


While quiet girls and ghosts both value their alone time and appreciate literature, it’s almost exclusively ghosts who will rattle chains. Chains make way too much noise for a quiet girl, and in most cases, the chains rattle because they are permanently tied around a ghost. Do you have chains permanently tied around you? If so, things are leaning toward ghost.


When you do try to speak, can you say words, or can you only make a hollow moan?


As a quiet girl or a ghost, it’s unlikely that you would ever talk. However, when you do, are you able to form complete sentences that could be understood by a human person? If yes, you’re probably a quiet girl. If only chilling sounds and a damp fog come out of your mouth when you try to talk, you may be a ghost.


Can you travel beyond one space, or are you trapped in a historic townhouse to haunt it for eternity?


If you want to go to the mall or the park, can you go? If you have the ability to travel via walking or car or any form of transportation besides hovering around, you’re likely a quiet girl. If you cannot exit the room you are in because you are stuck there until you get revenge on your much-older husband who had you murdered, you are probably a ghost.



Do you avoid horror movies because they scare you, or because you’re disgusted by the lack of fair representation of the undead in Hollywood?


This one can get tricky. It’s no guarantee that quiet girls dislike horror movies, but when they do, it’s often because they find the genre too frightening. Ghosts, on the other hand, dislike these movies because they are mad that Hollywood does not hire actual ghosts to play ghastly roles.


When you go to a party, do you spend the night in the corner, or have you never been to a party because you’re stuck in the wine cellar where your neighbor murdered you 70 years ago?


Quiet girls can feel very anxious in social settings, so they gravitate to the corners of parties. If you are thinking, “Well, I haven’t been to a party in at least a century, and also my neighbor murdered me in this wine cellar 70 years ago,” you are most likely a ghost.


If you’ve only just learned you’re a ghost, do not stress. Now you get to walk through walls and turn off lights regardless of who is in the room! If you’re just learning that you’re a quiet girl, it’s certainly going to take some time adjusting to real life after you spent all this time thinking you were in the afterlife. Try looking at your reflection or actually paying for the pottery class you keep showing up at.