Being in a happy, healthy relationship is great! Unless you somehow become so comfortable that you absentmindedly forget whether you flushed the toilet ten minutes ago. Don’t worry! You’ll be able to tell whether that turd was flushed or not based mainly on his body language when he returns from the bathroom. Here’s how:
Don’t Panic!
It can be stressful to think you may have left a truly hefty poop in your dude’s toilet, but don’t freak out. While it feels like you may never be able to make love to him again if he saw your literal excrement, the truth is he loves you and understands that you must poop sometimes. But still, he probably didn’t see your shit. Even though it doesn’t feel like it right now, his shifty eyes and furrowed brow may just be him trying to work through a complicated math problem in his head, and not a reaction to seeing your gargantuan dump.
Observe Closely
You may become overheated and sweaty upon imagining your boyfriend seeing the poop that comes out of you and potentially noticing its smell (holy shit, devastating). But, instead of listening to the freaked voice in your head, actually observe his behavior. Is he acting normal, or is he sitting on the other side of the room with his arms crossed muttering to himself? Is he asking you what you should order for dinner, or is he wondering if you’re feeling okay? These are potential indicators of whether he saw that hold-nothing-back poop you let out earlier!
Remember It’s Gonna Be Okay
Except for it probably won’t be because that dookie you dropped was a real fighter! You’re on your period, just saying! And you downed a ton of coffee this morning! Damn, time to find a new boyfriend who is still in denial about the fact that you drop loads on the reg!
Use these tips to determine whether your boyfriend is acting weird cause he saw your butt barf that you accidentally forgot to flush. And if you realize you actually did remember to flush but he’s still acting super weird, he’s probably going to break up with you! Sorry!
