Perhaps you’ve found yourself in this situation: You’re driving down the road when another driver does something reckless that almost ends your life. Maybe they cut in front of you without warning, or slowly slide into your lane; or maybe they opt to skip the line on the freeway off-ramp, or casually run a stop sign. These drivers are the biggest cunts on the road, but how do you tell them so they really get it? By whispering apologies into your steering wheel. Follow these defensive driving tips to really give them the what-for by silently begging for forgiveness, over and over:
First off, know what not to do. You want to make an impression on that fucking cunt, but you don’t want to send a message that might come off as abrasive. Usually drivers like to show their outrage by yelling profanities, but this is not how to properly put that monster in his place.
So what do you do? First, direct your gaze to your steering wheel. Try to keep your eyes on the road, but do not make eye contact with the driver (she might think you’re mad). Slowly raise your hand and meekly wave in their direction. Then, whisper “sorry” over and over. You voice level shouldn’t go above the radio. Other things you can whisper are “oops” and “my bad” or maybe even “I didn’t see you there!” They will certainly get the message that they are a dangerous cunt.
With the amount of fatalities and property damage caused by reckless drivers every year, it’s important to do your part and let them know they’re being cunts. It’s up to you to properly put them in their place by quietly telling your empty car, “I’m sorry, ugh, stupid, so stupid…” over and over until those idiots are gone and out of your life. Be safe!