Sexual activity is fun, but not when it’s practiced by those who are unaware of the risks. While thought to be safer than intercourse, oral sex is actually fraught with hidden dangers, especially when performed by a beginner girl on a boy. It’s your job as a parent to make sure your 8-12-year-old daughter knows everything she’ll need to know on how to prevent bumped elbows, twisted ankles, or getting a dick in the eye while giving a blowjob. It’s important to be clear with your words so that she doesn’t walk away confused, as she could end up performing a blowjob dangerously, or walk away too scared to give blowjobs at all. Here’s how to talk to your tween about blowjob safety:
Take her personality into account.
Your tween is sure to be resistant to talking with Mom about something icky like oral sex, so put it in her language. If your daughter loves field hockey, remind her of the time she got bad shin splints at an important scrimmage as a way to emphasize the importance of warming up before blowjobs. If she’s a girly girl, talk about how primer helps foundation sit right, sort of like how wearing a helmet and elbow pads will protect her during a beej if she falls off the bleachers or the ceiling caves in. If she’s into drama club, talk about memorizing your lines how is just like memorizing the number of the nearest burn unit or poison control center.
What to say: “If you’re going to blow a penis with your mouth, blow out surrounding candles first.”
Tell her the facts.
Summer is the perfect time for both sexual experimentation and cranial hemorrhaging. Over 97% of all skull fractures occur on pool decks. It may seem like all the cool kids are blowing each other on pool decks, but remind her that there’s nothing cool about setting off metal detectors because of the plate in her head from that time she blew a boy on a pool deck. She may hate hearing it now, but your straightforward clarity will serve her well when her middle school takes a trip to Turks and Caicos.
What to say: “There’s nothing cool about blowing each other on pool decks.”
Break it to her easy.
It’s essential that you broach the subject of blowjob safety with your daughter at a low-pressure time where it’s just the two of you. Maybe take her out for ice cream and chat on the way home about the risk of losing a limb while giving a BJ near either propeller of a Black Hawk helicopter. She needs to know that it’s possible to have one’s entire arm or leg severed during a blowjob but that proper precautions can prevent that from occurring. Tell her you love her and that there is a safe time and place for beejees, but that the world is full of fellatio-related dangers she doesn’t even know about yet.
What to say: “I love you. You can’t always know everything, not even blowjobs. And that’s final.”
While giving the beej is an important part of any healthy pubescent sexual relationship, it can also cause grave bodily harm. With even just one no-nonsense talk from Mom, these “head injuries” are entirely preventable.
