We get it: It’s hard not to brag when you just walked somewhere without once checking Google Maps! But with great power comes great responsibility – not everyone is as directionally blessed as you, and you’re going to have to work to stay relatable now. So use these tips to stay humble, even though you literally possess a god-like skill that no human has ever achieved.
Don’t bring it up right away.
A humble person waits an appropriate amount of time until the topic of their talent comes up naturally. You can tell your friends that on your way over you surpassed the limits of the human mind midway through brunch, but not right when you first see them. If you just can’t wait to tell your friends that you’re a spatial genius, go ahead and tell a nearby stranger instead (they’ll be so happy for you!).
Try journaling about it.
Your unbelievable feat needs to be recorded for history. But instead of posting a story about it, try writing down in a journal how good it felt to walk from A to B without the need for technology. You can also try writing an email to Google explaining that you’re about to put them out of business, but don’t send it. This is an exercise in restraint that should keep you from becoming all too powerful in your knowledge of South Williamsburg.
Decline any interviews with Good Morning America.
The press is going to want to talk to you. You did just do the impossible, after all. Even though you turned down The New York Times interview, it’s important to remember that you also can’t do Good Morning America. We’re not saying you can’t share your story, just that a humble person would not go on TV to talk about how much better they are than people who still have Google Maps downloaded on their phones.
Pretend to take a wrong turn once in a while.
Obviously, you could navigate any route with your eyes closed, but this helps you practice empathy for the little people crouched over their little phones. The next time someone tells you they’re late because they got lost, you’ll be able to imagine what that is like. Empathy is so cool!
If none of these tricks work, embrace what you truly are: a human GPS system. Start talking like a robot and speaking way too loud. Good luck!
