One of the most thrilling experiences in life is getting invited to spend time with the people you care about, but that doesn’t mean you have to say “yes” every time it happens – especially when you don’t actually want to go in the first place. If you’ve recently been having trouble overbooking yourself because you’re addicted to being included, here’s how to say “no” when you absolutely love getting invited to things.
Think about the future.
Sure, right now you’re overcome with the happy feelings of someone thinking of you and inviting you to hang out, but how will you actually feel on the day of the plans? It can be difficult to have crystal clear foresight, but to save you the trouble: nine times out of 10, you won’t really want to go. Try to remember this next time an acquaintance asks you to play pickleball next week – you know, the sport that you literally hate playing.
Find out what you truly need.
As Shakespeare once wrote after he agreed to plans he later realized he didn’t want to do: “All that glitters is not gold.” While you may be thinking that going on a weekend hike in 90-degree weather with your friends this weekend sounds really fun when you get the initial text about it, what you really need is to stay inside where there’s air conditioning and to meet up with your besties another time. You should also tell them to do the same too, because it honestly doesn’t sound like a good plan for anyone.
Release your FOMO.
If you’re worried that saying no to plans will cause your friends to stop asking you to hang out in the future, you should try to actively release that negative thought, because what will actually piss your friends off is you bailing 20 minutes before you were supposed to meet up for the fifth time in a row. So, just be honest about what your future self will probably want to do, or else you may never get invited to go on your one really rich friend’s boat this summer. The horror!
While saying “no” to a plan that sounds great on paper can sometimes be tough, taking care of your own wellbeing should always come first. Follow these tips and you’ll be politely declining your friends’ invites in no time! Except if your rich friend asks you to hang out on her boat, in which case, you should always drop everything and go.
