If you want to find love, the first thing you have to do is to get out there where it can find you! But what if instead of accidentally bumping into a handsome stranger while carrying a stack of business papers, you’d rather stay at home, where it’s comfortable and there are plenty of snacks? Here are surefire ways to let the universe know you’re ready for a partner while you cower under a blanket and binge-watch House of Cards.
Tinder is great for letting strangers know you think they’re cute, even if you’re sitting on the toilet and have no intention of getting up anytime soon. Before you know it, your Candy Crush lives will have refilled, your IBS flare-up will have passed, and you’re absolved of responsibility for being single, all without any of the discomfort of leaving your home and making eye contact.
Text an Emoji
You could text a quick “How are you?” to the object of your affection. Words can be scary and an emoji can basically say the same thing. A frog face is good if you’re keeping it casual, and a blushing cat with heart eyes is great if you’ve taken it to the next level. An emoji says, “Hi there!” without saying anything at all. You’re one step closer to manifesting a relationship you might be open to having one day in the future at some point, maybe if they come to your place.
Are you Facebook friends with someone you find attractive? Are you also sitting on your couch with your laptop on top of your lap? This is a perfect time to send your crush a quick “Hey” message. It’s opens the door for more communication, but it’s less committal than saying “Hey” in person because it’s easier for them to pretend they didn’t see you there. No response? Send the same thing again; maybe he didn’t see it the first time!
Scrolling through Missed Connections to See If Anybody Missed You
Maybe that hottie noticed you and your sexy new shade of lip gloss while you were buying Funyuns at the bodega. Probably not, but you never know! While you’re on Craigslist, stop by the furniture section to see if anyone’s selling an IKEA cat tower hack. No one is ever coming over here, and that’s okay.
You love vintage clothes, so why not try communication methods from the 1930s? Put breadcrumbs on your windowsill, lure a good-sized pigeon, attach a message to its neck, and send it on its way. Don’t forget to whisper the exact address of your desired’s house, including zip code; it’s not like these birds can read minds! Your crush will have your love note before you wake up from your third nap.
Message in a Bottle
Write a message, put it in a bottle, open your front door, toss the bottle out, shut your door, then wait. Keep waiting. Turn on HBOGo. Wait some more. Maybe the man of your dreams will show up. Outside is scary!
Remember, there’s no reason to go through the effort of dolling up your face and going out to meet somebody when you can find long-lasting love while in the comfort of your footie pajamas. Good luck in there!