With ballet-core coming into mainstream fashion, the renaissance of uncomfortable ballet flats seems to be approaching fast, but don’t panic – if you follow the steps below to protect yourself against the rise of ballet flats, you’ll hopefully remain safe and sound. Here’s how:
Delete all social media.
This is how the ballet flats are first going to infiltrate your mind. Initially, you’ll hate them, but after seeing them more and more, you’ll start considering buying a pair for yourself. To combat this, you’ll need to delete Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, and maybe even Pinterest to make sure that no ballet flats end up on your feed, or anywhere near your line of vision. Sorry about your loss of instant dopamine rushes, but it’s ultimately for the best.
Arm yourself.
Wear any other shoes you have as an oppositional force against ballet flats. No matter if you’re wearing Air Forces, Tevas, or even pointe ballet shoes, by doing so you are single handedly fighting against the ballet flats agenda. Also, it doesn’t hurt to carry a spear around in case you catch a stray flat lying around on the sidewalk (God forbid).
Use shields and/or blinders.
Offensive force is not the only thing you’ll need to protect yourself against the revival of ballet flats — you’ll also need to be on the defense at all times. This means investing in a couple shields, and maybe even some blinders, to protect your sight and body from the evils of 2010 footwear. Just be careful where you walk, and maybe use the buddy system if absolutely necessary.
Form a militia.
People are always stronger together, which means that your efforts to fight against ballet flats will be even stronger if you get other like-minded people to join you in wearing any other shoes and also carrying various weapons. Don’t bother with the people who’re excited about the comeback — it’s too late to save them now.
The thought of ballet flats coming back is scary, but instead of cowering in fear, try using one or all of these tips to protect yourself from getting flashbacks of your feet falling out of your shoes when you lift them up for two seconds. Good luck out there, and remember to stay strong — your wardrobe needs you.
