Sometimes we’ll be watching prestige television or Netflix, only to be cruelly be taken out of the experience by a child actor that looks absolutely nothing like the grownup actor they’re supposed to resemble. Why do you feel so much hatred for this poor, innocent child? Now that your night is completely ruined by this immoral casting decision, here are some ways to not direct your hatred toward that stupid excuse for a “child actor” onscreen:
Take a Deep Breath
The first step to not hating the child actor whose eyebrows are a whole-ass different color is to take a deep breath. When you breathe in, think about the fact that maybe this child was a better actor than another child that looked the part. Then breathe out, and let it all go. This helps you re-center and see things objectively, even though you have just actively considered suing this child.
Write Out Your Feelings
If you’ve actively thought about blackballing this child from the industry in the past hour, try writing out any angry feelings you may irrationally have toward this 10-year-old who you have never met. It will help you to process the aspects of this performance that enrage you, like the bad dye job that makes the child look like a character in a Marvel movie flashback instead of a real redhead. Wasn’t there like a $20 million dollar budget for this show? God, do they even try anymore?
Remind Yourself of the Limitations of Hollywood Casting
If you feel like you are dwelling a bit too deeply on how much you fucking hate this excuse of a child actor, it may help to remind yourself of the limitations of Hollywood casting. Remember, every project has its own limitations in terms of budget, time, and connections. Acting is one of the most competitive fields in the world and there are always people who seem like the same person with slight variations at auditions and they still managed to come up with this kid who looks like your middle school principal with a wig on, but STILL – hating children is not healthy, even if they do look like a ferret.
With these steps, you will be able to take your seething rage at this child actor who looks nothing like they’re supposed to and dial it back down to a low-level loathing. Good luck with making it through the entire season! They really let this little shit play just anyone, didn’t they?
