How to Match Your Gay Friend to Your Earrings

Take a look at your wardrobe. You’re probably set for any type of occasion from black tie to picnic. You have a plethora of shoes and jewels for any occasion – but did you remember to diversify your collection of gay friends?


Matt the bear cub is really great for fun, sporty events like kayaking, company retreats or drinking beer at a tailgate party, but is he really appropriate to bring to formal events? Do you really want someone who orders a Bud Light at the Met Gala? Pair Matt’s collection of plaid shirts with a simple stud or gold loop.


When attending a formal event, try Andre from High School who has that great job as a buyer for Neiman Marcus. Andre has impeccably fashion taste and will make those Tiffany’s white fold Metro Loops with 18K diamonds shine. Always be careful to dress simply when you are with Andre. Let him be the statement piece, and dress to show him off.


For events where you want to make a splash, try a really fun accessory like a hat, a sequined bag or Devon from your boyfriend’s improv class. Devon will help show people that you are fun, flirty and not afraid to take a few chances. Devon’s host of funny voices and characters will be great at dinner parties or a wild night out dancing. Pair Devon with some costume jewelry because how funny are these rhinestone earrings that say “Bitch?”


For somber events such as a funeral, bring along your co-worker Daniel with a simple pearl earring.



When in doubt, you can’t go wrong with someone boring and plain like Ethan. Ethan is just kind of blah so he matches anything and usually doesn’t have plans so he’ll probably be free. A simple diamond stud and Ethan will make sure that you ears aren’t naked and even if he’s not special or remarkable, Ethan is better than nothing.


Now get out there, and make your gay-man accessorizing game on-point!