You and Jason have been dating for a couple months now and it’s going great; you have a toothbrush and tampons strategically hidden in his apartment. But the longer you’re around, the more you’re going to want to “get in” with his roommates. Here’s how to let Jason’s roommates know you are totally chill enough for a half-hearted wave thrown in your direction as you shuffle to the bathroom.
Lean Against Things
A boyfriend’s roommates are like dogs: You have to act casual to keep them comfortable. And what do casual people do? They coolly lean against things. When you’re in the kitchen at noon on a Sunday, still a little drunk and a lot constipated, lean against the counter as you throw a “Oh, hey, I didn’t see you there” gesture to the three bros getting ready to watch a game. If you’re in the kitchen first when they come in, just lean against the open fridge and nod your head spastically like you’re at a Phish concert. You are chill. They will understand this.
Say a Sports Team, Any Sports Team
Roommates with XY chromosomes like sports. A lot. Show that you too like sports by naming a sports team. Any sports team! The second they walk into the kitchen casually throw out some team names and give a chill nod while you lean against a thing. If they don’t hear you at first, don’t be afraid to shout! When they hear you saying “Bears! Yankees! Tennis!” they’re gonna know you are the coolest girl—something they’ll acknowledge with a halfhearted wave. Score!
Shrug and Say “Jason’s in the bathroom, Probably Shitting, Amiright?”
Male manly men roommates appreciate bathroom humor and they appreciate ragging on their close buddies. It’s how they communicate and reminisce so in order to make yourself accessible to them, you have to let them know that you know what potties are for, too. The best way to do this is to rag on your special friend in common! When they ask where Jason is, mention that he is probably in the bathroom pooping. Show you’re cool enough to hang and hang dirty. This might even make them smile at you!
As a girlfriend, it is your responsibility to get your boyfriend’s roommates to love you, or at least not be furious when you’ve over. With these steps, you’ll achieve the highest honor they could bestow on you: that sweet, sweet apathetic wave.
